Rabbi Yehuda Amital, Z”L, founding Rosh HaYeshiva of Yeshivat Har Etzion, in “The Obligation to Sanctify God’s Name” (Jewish Values in a Changing World) suggests an interesting parallel between the laws of charity as articulated by RaMBaM on the one hand, and the process of religious education, on the other. With respect to the penultimate level for giving charity, RaMBaM writes that this pertains to:

RaMBaM, Mishneh Tora, Hilchot Matanot Aniyim 10:8

…One who gives charity to the poor without knowing to whom he gave and without the poor person knowing from whom he received…

R. Amital proceeds to make an intriguing leap to situations involving individuals who may at least initially feel negatively about what they are being taught or preached to:

Every educational institution, by its very nature, has a built-in problem: the student knows who is teaching him, and the teacher knows who is teaching. This situation…frequently generates resistance on the part of the student against accepting the teacher’s world outlook and moral admonitions. This situation is liable to hurt the teacher as well, who, knowing that he is serving as a role model, may conduct himself in an unnatural manner. The greatest educational impact is when the teacher is unaware that he is teaching and the student is unaware that he is learning.

Such an observation embodies a basic paradox inherent within my activities as a Jewish education and congregational Rabbi. For the most part, formal religious education takes place either within an institutional context, e.g., a school or a synagogue, or in informal settings such as people’s homes, a weekend Shabbaton, etc. Even late-night discussions or conversation at the Shabbat table are “loaded” as soon as you are identified as a “Rabbi” and therefore associated with a particular perspective and religious set of objectives. The number of genuine seekers interested in exploring their faith and traditions constitute the exception rather than the rule in my experience. Occasionally, as a result of carefully developing a personal relationship with certain individuals, be they students and/or congregants, you will be sought out and your words will be taken seriously, However, more often than not, due to any number of variables, your presentations go either unattended or you are for the most part “tuned out” in favor of whatever may be preoccupying the mind of the people you may be addressing.

R. Amital proposes that the Rabbinic sentiment in Yoma 86a, I.e., the manner by which one fulfills the Tora’s Commandment “And you will love the Lord, your God” is to be understood as “You will make (by means of your exemplary behavior) God’s Name beloved to others,” is the best way to capture the attention of those who are at best ambivalent about faith and religion. (Kiddush HaShem in this context is not whether you are prepared to die for your religious principles, but rather how you live your religious life day to day.) If those associated with religious observance act badly, immodestly, inconsiderately and unethically, how can one even expect there to be any outside interest? If anything, even “insiders” will be turned off as well, should they not make the effort to distinguish between the system and the behavior of at least some of its practitioners. According to R. Amital, the best advocacy for a life of Tora and Mitzvot is no overt advocacy at all, but rather living a redeemed life that others come to appreciate and draw the conclusion that it is this belief system and lifestyle that sets certain individuals apart from everyone else in a most admirable manner.